Saints Row The Third Review
Despite All Of The Fun To Be Had Here There Are A Few Issues That Impact Your Experience
Platform : Xbox360 / Playstation 3
Developer : THQ
Publisher : THQ
Giant dildo baseball bats, zombies, hover bikes and driving with a tiger in the passenger seat. These are just a few of the things that Saints Row: The Third has to offer. The third instalment of the series is undeniably fun, who doesn’t like the sound of jumping from a hover jet dressed as a cartoon cat? A big part of the game is customisation, straight away players are tasked with creating a character and the options you have are pretty insane. This can range from cat eyes, bleeding noses, silver surfer-like chrome skin and of course making your character look like he’s been taking steroids since the age of six. However don’t think that you’re stuck with your created character forever, if you ever feel you want to change your characters hair or even their gender then all you have to do is pop into the local plastic surgeons and come out a new man, or woman.
In terms of story the Saints have now become a major business with its own merchandise and adoring fans, however the Syndicate, an international crime organisation, wants a piece of the pie and the Saints aren’t interested causing them to go to war with the Syndicate and attempt to take the city of Steelport from them by murdering gang members and taking over businesses. The Syndicate consists of three gangs that the Saints must defeat to gain overall control of Steelport these include: the Morningstar, a gang that wears stylish black and red business suits. The Deckers, a gang consisted of cyber hackers who dress in blue and have anime hairstyles and futuristic weapons, and finally the Luchadores, a gang of masked Mexican wrestlers. As all out mayhem breaks loose on the streets of Steelport the authorities also take action via the standard police to the elite military-like STAG, who have access to laser weapons, hover jets, tanks and Halo style armour and other hover craft.
The story itself is not very complex and by no means the best narrative, but this doesn’t really matter the game does not take itself seriously at all and only attempts to provide players with the most wacky and extreme fun and customisation you can think of. The story is merely a vehicle that gives you some form of reason for the destruction and chaos that you commit. In terms of playtime Saints Row: The Third has the main story to complete as well as a series of collectables and businesses to purchase to gain 100% control of an area and many arcade style side missions. These include the return of insurance fraud from the previous games, which sees you launching your rag doll body into oncoming traffic in an attempt to bounce of as many cars as possible to gain more cash.
There is also Professor Genki’s strange Japanese game show challenges, which consists of the player running through a series of obstacles and shooting people dressed as cats, hot dogs and energy drinks. Between the story, side missions, collectables, unlockables, properties and challenges there are plenty of things to do after the story is over and players will find themselves in the 30-40 hour playtime if you’re looking for 100% game completion. If you have a friend with the game the entire campaign is also completely coop and there is fun to be had roaming the streets together wacking old ladies with giant dildos and calling missile strikes down on your unfortunate enemies.
Despite all of the fun to be had here there are a few issues that impact your experience. For example the game is not very challenging, in the first 2 games you pretty much start with nothing and stab and shoot your way to the top, in Saints Row: The Third you start with unlimited access to attack helicopters and other vehicles and it’s not long before you will have more money than sense, allowing you to buy upgrades and weapons that make things even more easy.
There are even unlockables that make you virtually immune to bullets and explosives and provide you with unlimited ammo and their not even cheats! Another more minor issue that fans of the previous games may have noticed is that the developers have provided players with much less safe houses and cribs and the ability to customise them has also gone. The ability to wear socks, vests, shirts and jackets over the shirt is also not a feature in the game; instead the clothes are split up into specific sections such as upper body, lower body etc. It’s not really a massive issue but it is a noticeable one and it doesn’t really make any sense why they would take these features away.
I must stress that Saints Row: The third is not to be taken seriously, if you’re looking for something along the lines of the latest GTA, which took a more realistic approach, then this is not the game for you. If however you don’t mind nudity, violence, and other low brow humour then you will have a great time roaming the streets of Steelport in your golden rimmed, nitrous fuelled golf caddy. Saints Row: The Third is pure mindless unadulterated and childish fun, nothing more and nothing less.
To Game, Or Not To Game.
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